This is not a post condemning nor excusing racists or racist behavior. If that's what you came here for, I want to save you from wasting your time and tell you to read no further.
This is specifically for people who are so non-discriminatory that they don't recognize their own privilege. White privilege. Male privilege. Adult privilege. Whatever it is that places you "above" another human being in society, whether intentional or not.
I thought I had avoided having to write on this topic. I thought I had shared enough posts and videos from other people that echoed my sentiments to where my stance was made clear without having to use my own words.
As God continues to mold me, I am coming to terms with the phrase I was wrong. I am also very sensitive to the promptings when I am called to be silent and when I am called to speak.
Scrolling through Facebook the past few weeks, as when anything racial or political drives social media interaction, I have seen many posts from people that have both surprised and hurt me. Particularly from other people who profess Christianity. I have been relatively silent. I have wrestled with removing people from my friend's list for the sake of preservation and keeping them with the prayer that my actions and the collective action of other Christ-followers will demonstrate that not everyone fits the stereotype they are arguing about.
Last year, I wrote this post about the Trayvon Martin verdict. I still feel the same way today that I did when I wrote that, except maybe a little more disappointed because it has taken countless more deaths for any action to take place.
Christianity, the whole dagum thing, the message of the Gospel, is about grace. Grace. That is it. If you understand the concept of grace, you understand what Jesus Christ died for.
Because much grace is given to me in my very sinful nature, I am required to extend much grace to others and God gives me ample opportunity to practice that.
Recently, I was having dinner with a group of people I love dearly. When asked about specific prayer requests I had for this season, one of mine was guidance and clarity on what my living situation will be for the additional three months I will now be staying in America after my lease is up in February.
As kind of a joke, one of the people I was dining with offered for me to stay in their guest bedroom and help watch their children. It was cute and could have been left there.
In the same joking tone, this person (who is white) continued by saying "If we had them call you Aunt Jemima would that help?"
I must stop here because I want every eye reading this to recognize that this person is not racist. This person is an incredibly talented leader, gifted communicator, theologically sound Christian and generally a fun person to be around. This is a person I respect immensely, and whose own story of redemption and restoration has given me much encouragement over the years. This person loves with one of the biggest hearts I've ever seen and I count it an honor to know him.
The thing is, in this day there are so many people who aren't racist that they have no idea the weight of their words to those who experience discrimination. There are so many people who don't see color that they make those of us who are full of color, essentially colorless.
In that moment, I had a choice to make. I could have chosen to be offended. It was well within my right. I could have chosen to speak on the topic immediately. Or I could have chosen to continue the conversation. I chose the last option, succinctly saying "that definitely wouldn't help" and closing the gap in the air, though to know me is to know I had to work hard to regain immediate composure of my facial expressions.
I had a choice to make, and it was mine to make. I did not chose this out of fear, but out of grace. I looked at the factors -- we were in the middle of a restaurant and young children were also at the table -- and the circumstances and the history of my relationship with the person who said this. I honestly can tell you that I truly don't think he even knew what he said. You may have chosen to act differently. That's the beautiful thing about free will.
The thing about grace is it has nothing to do with me. I didn't extend grace because that person deserved it. I didn't extend it to be the bigger person, to be a "good Christian." I extended it because of the very fact that I don't deserve it, yet the Lord delivers it to me in abundance. I have had so much worse said and done to me. Yet the Lord says if we do not forgive, He will not forgive us (Matthew 6:15). And let me tell you, I need a whole lot of forgiveness.
So because of what God has done for me, I can rest knowing He will handle the details. Resting doesn't remove the pain, resting doesn't numb the pain, resting just assures you that the pain will not always be there.
There's something else important about grace that needs to be said: grace doesn't excuse behavior. I have suffered many consequences for my sinful actions, in the midst of receiving grace. Grace doesn't say you get away with this, grace allows God to step in and fill the space with His truth.
One of the messages I read from a Facebook friend illustrated just how much of the mark is being missed right now. She is a Christian, served our nation and currently teaches in a low-income high-need school. She is also white, but if anyone understood what is going on, I thought she would. Yet her statement regarding a picture of protesters holding up signs that said "Black Lives Matter" was that all lives matter, children should be taught respect and the issues would disappear.
A popular comedian tweeted recently, "Do people who change #BlackLivesMatter to #AllLivesMatter run thru a cancer fundraiser going "THERE ARE OTHER DISEASES TOO"
That's the point. All lives do matter. But the lives that are in black and brown bodies seem to have to scream a little louder to be heard. Work harder to receive the same credit. Go above and beyond to prove we are not a threat.
All lives do matter.
But the lives that are in female bodies have to dress a little more modest to avoid unwanted advances from males. I was wearing jeans and a crew neck t-shirt the first time I was attacked. What's your next suggestion?
All lives do matter.
But the lives that you can't hold yet, even though they have hearts beating and limbs forming and brains developing, those lives that may be just an inconvenience, have to be sacrificed so you can live the life you planned before the consequence arrived.
All lives do matter.
But the lives that live in bodies that do things differently than I would, that don't practice things that I think they should, are pushed out of communities of love supposedly in the name of Christ.
You cannot say that all lives matter and not stand for every single one.
So the issue isn't which lives matter.
The issue is how are you going to use yours.
How are you going to influence the lives that are under your care?
How are you going to stand up for the lives that matter?
Because that's every single one, whether you've experienced what they've been through or not.
The biggest piece of advice I have is to follow Scripture directly.
Do not tell those who are weeping how to weep, do not tell those who are mourning their time is up, do not think of yourself as any different than your neighbor, but love them harder than you've ever loved before recognizing that you are indeed different and that is good.
This is specifically for people who are so non-discriminatory that they don't recognize their own privilege. White privilege. Male privilege. Adult privilege. Whatever it is that places you "above" another human being in society, whether intentional or not.
I thought I had avoided having to write on this topic. I thought I had shared enough posts and videos from other people that echoed my sentiments to where my stance was made clear without having to use my own words.
As God continues to mold me, I am coming to terms with the phrase I was wrong. I am also very sensitive to the promptings when I am called to be silent and when I am called to speak.
Scrolling through Facebook the past few weeks, as when anything racial or political drives social media interaction, I have seen many posts from people that have both surprised and hurt me. Particularly from other people who profess Christianity. I have been relatively silent. I have wrestled with removing people from my friend's list for the sake of preservation and keeping them with the prayer that my actions and the collective action of other Christ-followers will demonstrate that not everyone fits the stereotype they are arguing about.
Last year, I wrote this post about the Trayvon Martin verdict. I still feel the same way today that I did when I wrote that, except maybe a little more disappointed because it has taken countless more deaths for any action to take place.
Christianity, the whole dagum thing, the message of the Gospel, is about grace. Grace. That is it. If you understand the concept of grace, you understand what Jesus Christ died for.
Because much grace is given to me in my very sinful nature, I am required to extend much grace to others and God gives me ample opportunity to practice that.
Recently, I was having dinner with a group of people I love dearly. When asked about specific prayer requests I had for this season, one of mine was guidance and clarity on what my living situation will be for the additional three months I will now be staying in America after my lease is up in February.
As kind of a joke, one of the people I was dining with offered for me to stay in their guest bedroom and help watch their children. It was cute and could have been left there.
In the same joking tone, this person (who is white) continued by saying "If we had them call you Aunt Jemima would that help?"
I must stop here because I want every eye reading this to recognize that this person is not racist. This person is an incredibly talented leader, gifted communicator, theologically sound Christian and generally a fun person to be around. This is a person I respect immensely, and whose own story of redemption and restoration has given me much encouragement over the years. This person loves with one of the biggest hearts I've ever seen and I count it an honor to know him.
The thing is, in this day there are so many people who aren't racist that they have no idea the weight of their words to those who experience discrimination. There are so many people who don't see color that they make those of us who are full of color, essentially colorless.
In that moment, I had a choice to make. I could have chosen to be offended. It was well within my right. I could have chosen to speak on the topic immediately. Or I could have chosen to continue the conversation. I chose the last option, succinctly saying "that definitely wouldn't help" and closing the gap in the air, though to know me is to know I had to work hard to regain immediate composure of my facial expressions.
I had a choice to make, and it was mine to make. I did not chose this out of fear, but out of grace. I looked at the factors -- we were in the middle of a restaurant and young children were also at the table -- and the circumstances and the history of my relationship with the person who said this. I honestly can tell you that I truly don't think he even knew what he said. You may have chosen to act differently. That's the beautiful thing about free will.
The thing about grace is it has nothing to do with me. I didn't extend grace because that person deserved it. I didn't extend it to be the bigger person, to be a "good Christian." I extended it because of the very fact that I don't deserve it, yet the Lord delivers it to me in abundance. I have had so much worse said and done to me. Yet the Lord says if we do not forgive, He will not forgive us (Matthew 6:15). And let me tell you, I need a whole lot of forgiveness.
So because of what God has done for me, I can rest knowing He will handle the details. Resting doesn't remove the pain, resting doesn't numb the pain, resting just assures you that the pain will not always be there.
There's something else important about grace that needs to be said: grace doesn't excuse behavior. I have suffered many consequences for my sinful actions, in the midst of receiving grace. Grace doesn't say you get away with this, grace allows God to step in and fill the space with His truth.
One of the messages I read from a Facebook friend illustrated just how much of the mark is being missed right now. She is a Christian, served our nation and currently teaches in a low-income high-need school. She is also white, but if anyone understood what is going on, I thought she would. Yet her statement regarding a picture of protesters holding up signs that said "Black Lives Matter" was that all lives matter, children should be taught respect and the issues would disappear.
A popular comedian tweeted recently, "Do people who change #BlackLivesMatter to #AllLivesMatter run thru a cancer fundraiser going "THERE ARE OTHER DISEASES TOO"
That's the point. All lives do matter. But the lives that are in black and brown bodies seem to have to scream a little louder to be heard. Work harder to receive the same credit. Go above and beyond to prove we are not a threat.
All lives do matter.
But the lives that are in female bodies have to dress a little more modest to avoid unwanted advances from males. I was wearing jeans and a crew neck t-shirt the first time I was attacked. What's your next suggestion?
All lives do matter.
But the lives that you can't hold yet, even though they have hearts beating and limbs forming and brains developing, those lives that may be just an inconvenience, have to be sacrificed so you can live the life you planned before the consequence arrived.
All lives do matter.
But the lives that live in bodies that do things differently than I would, that don't practice things that I think they should, are pushed out of communities of love supposedly in the name of Christ.
You cannot say that all lives matter and not stand for every single one.
So the issue isn't which lives matter.
The issue is how are you going to use yours.
How are you going to influence the lives that are under your care?
How are you going to stand up for the lives that matter?
Because that's every single one, whether you've experienced what they've been through or not.
The biggest piece of advice I have is to follow Scripture directly.
Do not tell those who are weeping how to weep, do not tell those who are mourning their time is up, do not think of yourself as any different than your neighbor, but love them harder than you've ever loved before recognizing that you are indeed different and that is good.
"Don't just pretend to love others.
Really love them.
Hate what is wrong.
Hold tightly to what is good.
Love each other with genuine affection,
and take delight in honoring each other...
When God's people are in need, be ready to help them.
Always be eager to practice hospitality.
Bless those who persecute you.
Don't curse them; pray that God will bless them.
Be happy with those who are happy and weep with those who weep.
Live in harmony with each other.
Don't be too proud to enjoy the company of ordinary people.
And don't think you know it all!
Never pay back evil with more evil.
Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable.
Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone."
Romans 12:9-10, 13-18 (NLT, emphasis added)
"I have come that they may have life,
and have it to the full."
John 10:10b
