Hope, Faith, Raindrops and Checkbooks

Have you ever taken notice of the rain? I mean really sat and watched it. Not like when you’re driving and trying not to hydroplane or running from your car to your front door, trying not to get soaked.

Yesterday, after trying not to hydroplane and before determining the best opportunity to do a mad dash from my driver's seat to my porch, I just sat in my car and watched the rain. It was the first day in many months I was not in a rush to get somewhere else after work, so I just sat. I watched. Then I closed my eyes. I listened. I smelled. I quieted my soul. For the first time in a while, both my mind and my body were stilled.

When I was driving, clearly aware of the rain but not specifically paying attention to it, it seemed like each drop had a purpose. They were being driven intentionally into the soil, on the pavement, rolling clumsily off my car.

As I gathered my things and ran into my home, I stood in front of my glass sliding doors and looked out. This time, it seemed like the rain was literally free-falling from the sky. Like each drop had no idea where it would land, but nonetheless it fell.

Sometimes I feel like those raindrops. There are days where I feel like my purpose and intention is clearly defined. Others I feel like I am one of many who are falling without direction, only to bring relief wherever – and whenever – I land.

"For just as rain and snow fall from heaven

and do not return there without saturating the earth

and making it germinate and sprout, 

and providing seed to sow and food to eat,

so My word that comes from My mouth

will not return to Me empty, 

but it will accomplish what I please 

and will prosper in what I send it to do."

Isaiah 55:10-11 (HCSB)

Oh, how thankful I am for God’s Word. As I sat in my favorite chair, reflecting on His goodness and laying my burdens at His feet in this time of certain uncertainty, God gave me a song. And as I sang to Him, He spoke:

Lead me to the cross, 

where Your love poured out.

Bring me to my knees,

Lord, I lay me down.

Rid me of myself,

I belong to You.

Oh, lead me.

Still singing, I opened my eyes and looked directly at a box on my bookshelf. Suddenly I realized, that’s where my checkbooks are! You see, I moved in May, and I haven’t been able to find my checkbooks since then. Well, truthfully I didn’t realize I wasn’t able to find them until a few weeks ago, but since then I had looked everywhere imaginable. Everywhere except this box. During this time I was never really worried, primarily because I still had several checks left in my current book, but I knew I would be in trouble if I didn’t find them soon.

It seems silly, but in that moment all other cares fell away. I had my checkbooks. I hadn’t even been looking for them, but when I stopped to praise God in the midst of other things going on, He showed them to me. He directed me to my very cleverly organized, yet easily forgotten, location.

And in the very next moment God whispered “You keep looking for things in the wrong places. Seek me and I will show you everything else you are looking for.”

Truth.

It is a hard truth, but it is truth. The things I am searching for in my relationships are to be found in Christ alone. The things I am searching for in my job, in my purpose, in my life….can only be found when I seek Christ.

My friend Lindsay recently wrote a blog post about hope. In it, she posed a question I have found myself teetering on either end of the optimism-pessimism scale: 

Why get your hopes up when something might not work out? 

I have struggled with this in the margins of my faith for many years.

Am I lacking faith by not allowing my wildest dreams to blossom or am I just being realistic by stifling emotion tied to the unlikely?

God can do the impossible. God has done the impossible. God will do the impossible. If I believe in Him, I have to believe in that.

But should I live a life full of unprecedented hope, only to continuously and repeatedly be let down?

Or should I just keep on trekking, never expecting more than greatness, so I can always be pleasantly surprised when something amazing happens?

Lindsay goes on: "So what you've lived in hope. Isn't that better than living in fear?"

Why yes, my Starbucks Sista, yes it is. Infinitely better.

GUT CHECK.

The Proverbs 31 woman is one of elegance and grace, of faith and virtue. Though I am not currently in a season of wifery or motherhood, there are many things I can strive for in becoming as close to a Proverbs 31 woman as I’ll get.

This one specific verse in that famous passage is my fervent prayer for this season:

"She is clothed with strength and dignity, 

and she laughs without fear of the future." 

Proverbs 31:25 (NLT)

I pray I am able to recognize that I am being intentionally sent 

to water seeds God has planted,

accomplishing what He pleases and prospering in His plans,

that it is not in my purpose to return from where I have come

but to go forward with high hopes in the One who is Lord, 

and to laugh with Him in the most fearless manner

at the future He has prepared for me,

all while giving continuous praise.

This is my prayer for this season o’ transition.

What is yours?