Perspective is a Choice

I have been overwhelmed by the comments, texts and calls of everyone who felt that my blog post [How I Feel About My Failure] gave them a voice in their own life situations. Many of these came from participants (now friends) who were part of the same program and are going through unemployment woes mixed with confusion and feelings of that “F” word, and others who were able to draw their own parallels to what is going on in their lives.


I have also been blown away by the support God has sent. Three people in particular -- one participant, now friend, whose daily texts remind me I am not alone; one current teacher who went through very similar struggles in her own student teaching experience that led to unemployment and eventually the most perfect job, one she couldn’t have created for herself even if she tried; and one dear friend who has prayed with me many nights and many mornings. These people are God’s angels, I’m sure. And each of them have reminded me in their own way that perspective is a choice.

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, 

whenever you face trials of many kinds, 

because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 

Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, 

not lacking anything. 

If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, 

who gives generously to all without finding fault, 

and it will be given to you. 

But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, 

because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, 

blown and tossed by the wind. 

That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. 

Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do. 

James 1:2-8 

Joy is not happiness. Let me repeat, joy is not happiness.

Joy does not eliminate disappointment, rather joy calls it out and refuses to let it dominate.

Joy makes the smiles birthed from tears more meaningful.

Joy recognizes the testing of faith, and the strength it produces.

Joy reminds us when we go up against other trials, because there will always be more, how we overcame this one and the ones before with God carrying us through.

Joy differentiates between belief and doubt.

Joy brings hope.

And my hope is in Christ. My hope is not in a program or a job opportunity.


This doesn’t hurt. Having innocence stolen and being repeatedly abused hurts. Knowing that the chance of birthing my own children is slim to none...hurts. Watching loved ones die, or even worse, live with debilitating illnesses...hurts.

This doesn’t hurt, my friends. It’s confusing, but it doesn’t hurt.

People continue to tell me they’re sorry. I want to ask “for what” but a lot of times my sarcasm is misunderstood, so instead I just tell them “there is nothing to be sorry about.”

Because there isn’t anything to be sorry about, in this case at least. It’s not that things didn’t work out. 

They worked out perfectly, in fact, according to God’s plan. 

Yes, it is difficult not knowing what His plan is, but I know that it is far greater than anything I could dream. What isn’t difficult, is waking up each day knowing that there is a specific purpose waiting to be fulfilled and you’re the only one with the key.

The truth is, I didn’t deserve that job anyway. I don’t deserve anything in this glorious life I’ve been blessed with. Our gracious and merciful God chooses to bless me despite myself and that is far more than I could ever ask for.

So stop being angry for me. Stop feeling bad for me. And save your sorrys.

I don’t need them and I don’t want them.

But your love, you can share that any day.

And maybe some dinner. Groceries are expensive.