My mama said I need to start posting more frequently. I guess waiting every few months for a less than stellar glimpse into my mind was proving anti-climatic, so for the three people who read this other than my mom, you are welcome. :)
I would like to start this post by declaring that I am not a control freak. I'm really not. Things just work SO MUCH BETTER when I am in control. Let's be real.
I mean, come on…does it make me a control freak that I have a calendar for work and a calendar for personal and a separate, third calendar that combines them both, along with a written agenda in the event that all electronics are somehow out of commission?
Does it make me a control freak that my clothes have to be washed a certain way, arranged in the closet with all buttons facing towards the left, and certain britches absolutely canNOT share a hanger with other britches?
Does it make me a control freak that I have to know the whens and the wheres before I even think of agreeing to something….and my follow-up is almost always the hows and the whos, and if those don't match, sayonara?
Does it make me a control freak that if you haven't done something fast enough, or the way I like it (or "need" it done), I'll just do it myself? No hard feelings.
If you answered 'yes' to any of these, you are a lunatic who probably drives with the fuel light glaring and no idea how far the next gas station is without a care in the world and I'm going to address you momentarily. Lunatic.
If you answered 'no,' I love you. You get me and we are best friends. You have probably been called a control freak before, as well, and I understand how hurtful the name calling from the lunatics can be. It's ok, we will get through this together.
Understand, too, that people fall all throughout the spectrum of ControlFreakism. So, if you don't keep 16 different calendars but you apply hand sanitizer after each surface you touch, even if you were the only person who previously touched it, thus ensuring no germs have actually fallen on, at or near that surface, you're still part of the Freaks. Embrace it.
Lastly, just because you are a proclaimed (self- or other-) CF, doesn't necessarily mean that you exhibit behaviors in a harsh manner. Some of us are more actively aggressive in expressing our feelings, while others are more passive. And as you're thinking of people who probably fall into one category or the other, and you're ready to send them this link, remember they may be thinking of you, too, so be nice.
Yesterday, I had a meeting with the leader of the mission team of which I am a part (I'm going to India, y'all!). Having received about 7 or so emails from me since the trip was announced (who knew that was too many?), she laughed and asked if I was freaking out about our deadlines not being posted and meeting times not yet on the agenda.
And I told her the truth. I am 100% freaking out and 100% at peace. I know that God is working on me to just sit and wait. My ex used to tell me all the time "you don't have to know everything" and I would joke (kind of) that I really do, but he's right.
I don't have to know everything for it to all work out.
I don't have to know everything to take the next step.
All I have to know is that God is for me.
Besides, if we knew everything -- like the storm that comes before the sunny days -- would we make half of the choices we've made so far? My guess is no.
I recently read a devotional in which the author shared how not to be aflaming b control freak when things are out of your hands and I love these questions she posed:
I mean, come on…does it make me a control freak that I have a calendar for work and a calendar for personal and a separate, third calendar that combines them both, along with a written agenda in the event that all electronics are somehow out of commission?
Does it make me a control freak that my clothes have to be washed a certain way, arranged in the closet with all buttons facing towards the left, and certain britches absolutely canNOT share a hanger with other britches?
Does it make me a control freak that I have to know the whens and the wheres before I even think of agreeing to something….and my follow-up is almost always the hows and the whos, and if those don't match, sayonara?
Does it make me a control freak that if you haven't done something fast enough, or the way I like it (or "need" it done), I'll just do it myself? No hard feelings.
If you answered 'yes' to any of these, you are a lunatic who probably drives with the fuel light glaring and no idea how far the next gas station is without a care in the world and I'm going to address you momentarily. Lunatic.
If you answered 'no,' I love you. You get me and we are best friends. You have probably been called a control freak before, as well, and I understand how hurtful the name calling from the lunatics can be. It's ok, we will get through this together.
Understand, too, that people fall all throughout the spectrum of ControlFreakism. So, if you don't keep 16 different calendars but you apply hand sanitizer after each surface you touch, even if you were the only person who previously touched it, thus ensuring no germs have actually fallen on, at or near that surface, you're still part of the Freaks. Embrace it.
Lastly, just because you are a proclaimed (self- or other-) CF, doesn't necessarily mean that you exhibit behaviors in a harsh manner. Some of us are more actively aggressive in expressing our feelings, while others are more passive. And as you're thinking of people who probably fall into one category or the other, and you're ready to send them this link, remember they may be thinking of you, too, so be nice.
Yesterday, I had a meeting with the leader of the mission team of which I am a part (I'm going to India, y'all!). Having received about 7 or so emails from me since the trip was announced (who knew that was too many?), she laughed and asked if I was freaking out about our deadlines not being posted and meeting times not yet on the agenda.
And I told her the truth. I am 100% freaking out and 100% at peace. I know that God is working on me to just sit and wait. My ex used to tell me all the time "you don't have to know everything" and I would joke (kind of) that I really do, but he's right.
I don't have to know everything for it to all work out.
I don't have to know everything to take the next step.
All I have to know is that God is for me.
Besides, if we knew everything -- like the storm that comes before the sunny days -- would we make half of the choices we've made so far? My guess is no.
I recently read a devotional in which the author shared how not to be a
Does it matter now or will it matter tomorrow?
Will it affect eternity?
Is God trying to teach me something?
Can I pause and praise instead of interrupt and instigate?
Is this really an issue that needs addressing?
Do I need to let it go?
So, that is what I have started doing. When things don't go my way….so basically every day of the week….I have stopped to wonder if what I would consider "my way" is even necessary in the first place.
Does this issue even matter in the grand scheme of life or in God's purpose for my own life?
Not is God trying to teach me something, but WHAT is God trying to teach me through this?
Can I pause and praise instead of being a colossal b control freak?
Sometimes we need to take the reins, we need to jump in and control a situation.
But a lot of times, especially for those who are natural-born controllers, God is using those very situations to remind us that He is ultimately in control. And that if we trust Him, if we let go just the tiniest bit, He has so much room to perform the miraculous.
But then…..but then….we not only have to stop assuming control from other people, we have to stop assuming control over our lives from God.
How could God know better than I?
If He did, then ______________ [insert whatever your "Why God?" here] wouldn't have happened to me.
There have been times where if someone was in charge of something and it wasn’t perfect (according to my standards, not the actual Book of righteousness), I would either sulk that I hadn’t been given the task to show how much better I could excel or I would shrug at their inability, secretly boastful, “knowing” that I could have done a much better job.
Whatever. If they want this to turn out like a circus act, it’s their problem. I’m not in control.
Neither of the above-mentioned attitudes come from a heart of purity or righteousness.
Enter God -- in all His mighty, loving, stern, faithful, good glory.
The God who turns our worlds upside down, in the most gracious and loving way, so He can pick us back up.
The God who teaches us more about His heart than about our shortcomings in any given lesson.
The God who blesses us beyond measure when we’re obedient, and fortunately for us, even when we’re not.
The God who loves us so much He sent His only son, so that we could join a family where He would have many more sons and many more daughters.
Enter that God.
That God entered into my life, messed everything up, and placed it delicately back together in ways I never would have imagined.
He dismantled the dreams I thought I had for myself, and placed dreams in my heart that could be considered nothing less than impossible without His hand.
He looked at my notebooks of plans and ripped them up, replacing them with His own beautifully written story.
I could have chosen to worry and fret when the program for which I quit my full time job turned out to be a bust and left me draining the last of my savings and adding charges to my previously zero-balanced credit card. But I chose to pray, to trust and believe. And I was able to stay with a roof over my head, food in my belly, and a ton of odd jobs to help maintain my other bills. No bill ever went into default.
I could have chosen to worry and fret when the family I lived with were still scheduled to move and I had no stable income, but I chose to pray, to trust, and to believe. Because of the countless confirmations I received along the process, I stepped out on faith and put a deposit on a place I absolutely loved. Less than a week later I received a call for the job in which I currently find myself waking up excited to go to work each day. Less than a week after that, I moved into my swank apartment. God’s blessings.
I could have chosen to worry and fret when, after finally getting on my feet, I was hit with an over $500 estimate for car maintenance, among some other unexpected (and unprepared for) expenses. But I chose to pray, to trust, to believe, and even to join my church in a giving opportunity called Liberty Offering. A very short time later, I was told that my co-workers and I would all be receiving a substantial pay increase effective that following pay period.
The times when I have stopped fighting God for what I want, for what I felt I deserved, have been the times when I have been most at peace and when I have received the greatest blessings.
I’m not saying put your trust in God and you’ll get everything you want. I’m saying exercise your faith, truly trust Him because you know He has your best interest at heart, and sit back and watch Him blow your mind.
Nothing you expect and everything you could dream will be afforded you.
There have been times where if someone was in charge of something and it wasn’t perfect (according to my standards, not the actual Book of righteousness), I would either sulk that I hadn’t been given the task to show how much better I could excel or I would shrug at their inability, secretly boastful, “knowing” that I could have done a much better job.
Whatever. If they want this to turn out like a circus act, it’s their problem. I’m not in control.
Neither of the above-mentioned attitudes come from a heart of purity or righteousness.
Enter God -- in all His mighty, loving, stern, faithful, good glory.
The God who turns our worlds upside down, in the most gracious and loving way, so He can pick us back up.
The God who teaches us more about His heart than about our shortcomings in any given lesson.
The God who blesses us beyond measure when we’re obedient, and fortunately for us, even when we’re not.
The God who loves us so much He sent His only son, so that we could join a family where He would have many more sons and many more daughters.
Enter that God.
That God entered into my life, messed everything up, and placed it delicately back together in ways I never would have imagined.
He dismantled the dreams I thought I had for myself, and placed dreams in my heart that could be considered nothing less than impossible without His hand.
He looked at my notebooks of plans and ripped them up, replacing them with His own beautifully written story.
I could have chosen to worry and fret when the program for which I quit my full time job turned out to be a bust and left me draining the last of my savings and adding charges to my previously zero-balanced credit card. But I chose to pray, to trust and believe. And I was able to stay with a roof over my head, food in my belly, and a ton of odd jobs to help maintain my other bills. No bill ever went into default.
I could have chosen to worry and fret when the family I lived with were still scheduled to move and I had no stable income, but I chose to pray, to trust, and to believe. Because of the countless confirmations I received along the process, I stepped out on faith and put a deposit on a place I absolutely loved. Less than a week later I received a call for the job in which I currently find myself waking up excited to go to work each day. Less than a week after that, I moved into my swank apartment. God’s blessings.
I could have chosen to worry and fret when, after finally getting on my feet, I was hit with an over $500 estimate for car maintenance, among some other unexpected (and unprepared for) expenses. But I chose to pray, to trust, to believe, and even to join my church in a giving opportunity called Liberty Offering. A very short time later, I was told that my co-workers and I would all be receiving a substantial pay increase effective that following pay period.
The times when I have stopped fighting God for what I want, for what I felt I deserved, have been the times when I have been most at peace and when I have received the greatest blessings.
I’m not saying put your trust in God and you’ll get everything you want. I’m saying exercise your faith, truly trust Him because you know He has your best interest at heart, and sit back and watch Him blow your mind.
Nothing you expect and everything you could dream will be afforded you.
All you have to do is stop being a control freak.
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