To Build, To Melt, or to Watch it Fall?

This past weekend I had the incredible opportunity to travel to Nashville to speak to college women at a “Gal-entine’s Retreat.” The invitation to speak was particularly timely in my own life, as I was asked to address singleness (in the context of being unmarried, not necessarily excluding those in dating relationships) and how, as daughters of the Most High, we should look to Christ for our significance and identity and expose the lies about relationships we are fed by our culture and society.


As I was being introduced by my mentor and she shared that I am the author of Life Without Love is Like a Year Without Summer, one of the students shrieked with excitement, “you write that?!? I read that!” In that moment I was filled with an inexplicable sense of humility and gratitude, reminding me that even on the days I feel the least like writing or sharing, God is waiting to use what He reveals to me to speak to people I have never even met. Talk about being a part of something much bigger than myself.

Sadly, I had to break it to the young ladies that while most people felt like they were stuck in solitary confinement during Charlotte's Snowmageddon, my deepest introvert reveled in the perfect gift from God of solitude and I took some of that time to perform a mini-makeover on the blog. It wasn’t that I no longer liked the title or background or layout, it just doesn't fit me or where I'm headed anymore.

The old title of this blog, “Life Without Love is Like a Year Without Summer,” is still one of my very favorite quotes. It's just no longer my focus in this new season. You see, rather than being concerned about receiving love, I am much more concerned with giving it. And I know that if I never stop giving it, I never have to worry about being stuck in a 365-day winter. 

My new title, Reflections from the Well, obviously has a great deal to do with my recent trip to India, where the church of which I am beyond blessed to be apart financed the building of churches and wells in remote villages with no access to clean water. 

I want my life and everything I represent to be a direct reflection of what Christ has done for me. I have made a lot of mistakes in the past, and I’m sure I will make a lot more in the future, but striving to be perfect is not why I’m on Earth. That's not why God allows me to take new breath each morning. Following Christ and introducing Him to others is my priority and purpose. And if I can use my messy past to share how He picks up our shattered pieces and creates a magnificent new piece of art with His grace and mercy, it is all considered joy.

Therefore, as I stare down into a well and get a glimpse of my reflection as the rushing water of life comes pouring through the spigot, I am constantly reminded that even in the driest lands, I can be a source to those who feel they are unworthy or forgotten, pointing them to the true Living Water.

Upon my return from Nashville, one of my friends came over to catch up on old things and process new things and everything in between. We were discussing how things are not turning out at all as we imagined in these mid-20s, and even though we still see God's hand weaving magnificently through the stories of our lives, some days it just gets plain hard.

Sometimes we say we're giving our burdens over to God, but we still feel stressed.

We know we shouldn't be worried about money, but we still stare at the bills and the bank account.

We believe we followed God's calling, but we don't understand why we no longer feel a passion in our hearts for what we're doing. 

We want to be happy for others, and deep down we truly are, but we still have to check that twinge of jealousy.

We know that God loves us, but sometimes we're just angry for what He allows.

Uh-oh...am I getting too honest for y'all?

Well, in the midst of that conversation, we talked about Charlotte's Snowpocalypse and our extreme differences in excitement.

While I was more than content to sit on my couch and watch people slip and slide through my living room window, my friend was going stir crazy and took every chance she could to jump outside (often using her adorable puppy as an excuse). 

And in line with our feelings of joy-filled confusion regarding situations in our lives, my friend described to me a beautifully sacred moment she experienced one frigid afternoon as as her emotions flooded her, and she turned to me and said: "I looked up at the sky and realized that nothing can stop the snow from falling." 

In that moment, my friend rested in the promises of our Father, and she found peace in recognizing that even though everything else in her life was crazy, none of those factors affected the snow.
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That shook me ​to the core. Nothing we do here on Earth can stop the snow from falling. 

God used that to remind me that there are circumstances we have absolutely no control over, but the choice we do have is in how we react. We can either build a snowman or watch the snow melt, but there is nothing we can do to stop it from snowing. 

In the context of obedience, sometimes we are called to build and sometimes we are called to watch something melt, and a lot of times God allows us make the decision ourselves.

I have told people time and time again, there is absolutely noting I have and nothing I have been able to do that has anything to do with my own efforts, save my (sometimes lagging) choice to be obedient.

Our obedience to let something go or change something in our lives may not always be just because that “something” is bad for us.

It may just be that it no longer fits us. If we cling to things that no longer serve the purpose that God intended when He brought in our lives, we miss out on a Kingdom-sized load of other opportunities.

If we stay in relationships that aren't pushing us towards Christ, we miss out on men and women of God that we can partner with for the expansion of God's kingdom.

If we stay in a job or a city because we're comfortable, we'll never know what abundant life God has planned for us and how many people we can impact for His glory.

My pastor at my previous place of employment and place of worship always says "Sometimes you have to say "no" to the good, to say "yes" to the best."

How true that rings.

God allows things to happen at two times in our lives: when we're ready and to get us ready.

If we're saying yes to everything that looks good, we're not giving God a chance to "get us ready" for the blessings He has for us.

And we won't be able to receive those blessings if we're holding on too tightly to what He gave us before.

I don't know about you, but I've grown a lot in the past 5 years...3 years...one year....even 6 months. And I am grateful for that growth. 

Beyond that, I'm thankful to recognize that some of the gifts the Lord gave to me 3 years ago were given for that particular time and season. Those experiences stretched me, but if I hold onto what fit me 3 years ago, what am I missing out on today?

Maybe you're in a season where you need to build something.

Maybe there's something you're trying to build that you need to let melt.

And maybe, God is just whispering to you, "Stop, look up and watch the snow fall."