Wednesday, February 15, 2012 - I may have just lost a couple friends...

I may have just lost a couple friends…

I’m working on my message for next week and I came to a point where curiosity began to lead me in a different direction. I don’t want to give away the topic, lest some of my students somehow read this (which, I hope you don’t — but if you do, be prepared to hear this story again, ha!), but I do want to pose some questions that I have in my own life, but aren’t necessarily where the series is headed.

I have an irrational fear of being murdered.

I don’t know if it’s because I’ve watched way too much CSI, NCIS, Criminal Minds, or crazy Denzel movies but I am ridiculously afraid of this. Aside from having designated hiding places in my home (in the event a home invasion occurs) and planning escape routes whenever I’m in a new environment (and you just thought I was rudely people watching), the point where it passes paranoia and ventures into neurotic is when this fear affects my decisions to help people.

There have been so many times that I was driving and I see someone stranded and I have an internal tug-of-war about stopping to offer assistance. I mean, to the point that I have actually slowed my car on the highway and then at the last minute made the decision to speed off.

A lot of times the stranded motorist is a man, so I don’t feel quite as awful making a decision that so heavily affects my safety, but sometimes it’s a woman and occasionally a family with kids. I always worry about what I would do in that situation and quite honestly, how utterly sad I would feel if absolutely no one stopped to help me.

Of course, my human mind justifies my decision with “Someone will come along soon” and “Everyone has a cell phone these days, I’m sure they’ve called for help.”

Then, the dramatics start flowing in: “I could be on the news. They could murder me or have someone jump out of the bushes and kidnap me or take my license plate information and follow me home and rob me and no one will ever know what happened!”

{Now, although the news is absolutely littered with horrific tragedies that, sadly, are becoming more and more prevalent, these are still somewhat isolated events. I, also, am aware that it is completely ridiculous for my fear to cripple my decision to extend a helping hand to someone, but thank you for having your contacts pulled up on the screen to recommend me to a good therapist.}

For a good while after I have passed the scene I always wrestle with the possibility that I was not obedient to God. Always. This has never not happened.

Was He whispering to me and I chose to ignore Him? Did God intend for me to help them? Because if He did I’m sure He would protect me. What could God have done for me in that situation? What could He have done through me? Where am I inserting my own fears in the place where God’s trust belongs? And where am I just being maniacal?

Alright, I know this is a trivial example and some of you may have questioned our friendship in reading this post, but I do want to throw some questions out there, hopefully with some feedback:

• I know, if we’re honest, fear affects a great number of us. Where has fear crippled you, specifically preventing you from God’s work?

• For me, it’s easy to trust God with things like my finances or relationships, because He’s shown up time and time again. But how do you discern whether you’re making a logical decision for your livelihood or disobeying God’s call because of a battle with trust and faith and the Enemy’s attempt to push you to lack those things in our Savior?

“Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’ Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirst and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’ The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one for the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’”
::Matthew 25:34-40, emphasis added::